World's worst blogger

I kind of began with this blog for myself, to look back on and remember fond memories. But it seems I never have time to blog these days, and I suppose it's only me that is losing out..!
In my last blog I mentioned starting a business course, I'm still doing the course, and have achieved "Business Student of the Month", which is kind of embarassing, but I'm still pretty chuffed. The work load is absolutely chaotic. Lessons in college are mainly absorbing information by listening and writing notes, and then getting an assignment brief and a date for the assignment to be handed in by. Don't even get me started on the assignments - they are a LOT of hard work. And there's a LOT of them too. So far I have never been late handing one in (touch wood) and most of them have been pretty darn good, and with redos being a possibility with them all, I manage to get most criteria that is available. I now have three weeks off college for the Christmas and New Year holidays and only two assignments to do during said holidays, so I'm loving the free time!
Lily is still as wonderful as ever. Although a bit of a handful. I can only hope that two and a half is the most challenging age, as she is extremely challenging at the moment. I suppose this age could be said as the worst and best age. When she's tired or in a bad mood it is just awful, I find it so hard to cope by myself (but we'll get to that in a minute). But when she's in a good mood... There's nothing better. She's just amazing, I can never be unhappy when Lily is in a good mood. Another thing about Lily - a few months ago, just around the time I was starting college, Lily had an appointment at the hospital to check her eyes as our health visitor thought she may have a squint in her right eye. Well, she was correct. Lily has pretty much forgotten that she has a right eye and she just doesn't use it at all, so it turns into her nose a tad. She was prescribed glasses there and then, and a week later we went to the optitians to pick a pair out for her. She now wears her glasses most of the time (and they look adorable!). We then had a check-up appointment for her, and the glasses wasn't giving her much improvement, so we were told that Lily would have to wear an eye-patch. We were given the patches and told she had to wear one for four hours every day, so we do our best in enforcing that. She'll have another check-up at the end of January to see if the patches are improving the use of her right eye.
Being alone - it's pretty difficult. It's taken a lot of getting used to, especially at times when Lily is having a tantrum and I have nobody to suffer with. I suppose I'm lucky because I still with my family, but it's not quite the same. Extra wardrobe space and room space is great though, haha!

That's it for now, I guess. I'll try to be a bit better with updating.
xoxo

Positivity

Phew. My blog has been very neglected lately. But things are starting to look a lot better, so perhaps I'll feel up to posting more often soon.

So things with Phil and myself are alright. We went on holiday for a week with his family (and flower baby of course), and that went well. We're definitely remaining apart though. He has Lily one day a week, and pops over most days after work to see her. So, things are good there. And we're trying to remain friends, although it is difficult!

Things with me are looking up too. I had an interview for a Business course at college today and got offered a place on the Level 3 course (highest course). So I'm chuffed! I start in just over a week, so have to get cracking on sorting out nursery for Lily and what not.

Here are a couple of photos from our holiday in Greece...

xoxo

It's been a while...

Hi.
Things are not so great.
Phil and I have broken up. It was a mutual decision, we both thought that it was time to give it a rest as things haven't been good for a while.
He's moved out.
I've been suffering a lot with depression for the past few months.
Before I got pregnant I suffered a lot with it. I was on anti-depressants, but I stopped taking them as soon as I found out I was pregnant.
Since then, I have felt I didn't need them. I had been the happiest I've ever been. I felt like being a mother and raising our beautiful flower baby was just what I needed to make me happy.
But it's all gone wrong. I feel so alone, even when I'm surrounded by people. I feel like I don't want to be a mother anymore. I constantly think that I wish I could just go back in time and not mess my life up so much.

I just, I just need a hug.

Everything

Everything I've ever done, from the moment I found out you were growing inside of me, has been for you.


Some day I'll tell you what I was like. And you'll be shocked at how much I changed. How I feel as if you saved me from myself. I may be scared now, because there is this big responsibility. But you have changed me, for the better.

I love you, my Lily flower.

xoxo

Barbeques and ice-creams

The weekend before last we were pleased to see that summer was arriving early!
We celebrated by having a barbeque!


And with hot weather comes ice-cream, of course!



However, the British weather decided to fight back and this weekend it's, well... Raining again.
Couldn't we have had all this rain in the winter? Hmm? It's June now, and I demand sunshine! Even if it's only for next weekend (which is Lily's birthday party, sob sob).

Lily is being dumped on my mum for a couple of hours tomorrow so Phil and I can go shopping for yet more summer clothes that are never going to be worn because England hates the sunshine.


xoxo

Washing up

Lily is playing in her Hello Kitty kitchen.
Daddy: Lily, are you going to make me some dinner?
Lily puts saucepan on hob, gets fish slice and starts swooshing it around in the saucepan. Lily brings saucepan over to Daddy with a fork.
Lily: Eeryago Daddy. Dinner!
Daddy: Thank you very much, Lily.
Daddy eats dinner and gives saucepan and fork back to Lily.
Lily: Coop Daddy. (Thank you)
Mummy: Lily, are you going to wash that up now?
Lily trots over to Mummy and gives saucepan and fork.
Lily: Eeryago. Mummy wash!

I see how it is...


xoxo

Tears

Just a disclaimer: this post is nothing about the flower baby.

I've just come home from my English exam. I'm really rather bummed, not just because I think I did awfully, but because it's the end of English. I think everyone in that class has become friends, and I had started to look forward to Thursday evenings. That is the first class I've ever been in that I've felt accepted. We had such fun together, it's going to be weird not seeing them every Thursday. But, atleast that has helped me to decide that next year I do want to do college. Work can wait. I think getting a better education is more important at the moment.

I get my results on the 24th of August, hope they're good!

xoxo

Catching up

Hello! Not much has been happening around here lately. We've all managed to catch colds again.

One day last week I just spent a day with my sister and our friend, Jess. We all have little girls, so thought it'd be fun

(Left to right - Lily, Izzy, Faye)

On Tuesday I received a beautiful bunch of flowers.

And my love for Yankee Candles has been renewed. Have had this candle lit for atleast an hour everyday for the past week!

And lastly - the plans for Lily's birthday party have begun. I've written all the invites out and will be sending them this week. I'm still in shock. I can't believe how fast this year has gone.

That's it for now! Hopefully I'll have more interesting updates soon.
xoxo

Another update minus some pictures

Phewwwwww, I know I haven't done a proper blog post in a while, but I do have something to update on!
Phil and I have decided to postpone the wedding for a few more years. I only just realised the other day that I'm 19, I have my whole life to get married. Before getting pregnant I NEVER wanted to get married, I don't know why having a baby made that change!
We're staying engaged, as we do intend to get married at some point in our lives. But for the foreseeable future, I just want to enjoy being young, raising our flower baby and having a good time!

Also, I might start doing Outfit of the Day posts, just to keep the blog a bit more interesting, as we're losing moving posts and wedding posts!

That's all for now, the weather has brightened up, so we're busy enjoying it.
xoxo

Top Baby Blogs

We've joined Top Baby Blogs!

Give us a vote, go on, you know you want to... ;-)

An update

This is just a quick update on the housing situation.
We went to see a mortgage advisor and we can't seem to get a large enough mortgage at this point in time. So it looks like we're not moving out just yet. Oh well! I'm pretty upset as I was so excited, but there's no point in crying over spilled milk.

xoxo

A new home?

Recently Phil and I have been thinking about moving out. Our situation at the moment is; we live with my family. So we're living in the house I grew up in, with my parents, my sister and her daughter. One of my brothers moved out last year, and the other brother moved out the year before that. I don't want to discuss my sister's situation right now, that's a blog for another day. Even thinking about what has happened to her makes me go a little dizzy and seriously angry.
So yeah, for now it's a little crowded. Well, not that crowded as we have pretty much the whole of the upstairs of the house. My parents have their bedroom and their en-suite bathroom upstairs, but that's it. We have the other bathroom and the three other bedrooms. One of which we use as our living space, with all the toys, the sofa, the TV, computer desk, computer, laptop, yadda yadda yadda.

Feel free to judge me on how messy it is at the moment. We've been so busy lately the housework just hasn't been done.

So back to the original point. We've been discussing moving out, and we've been looking at our financial situation. Right now, I'm not willing to start work. I'm not willing to let someone else look after my child so that I can work. So I'm just powering on through college during evenings and looking after Lily during the day. Due to that, our financial situation isn't the best. HOWEVER, we have found a 2 bedroom flat that we really like, we've been to view it and met the current owners. We've negociated a price with them, and right now we're in the process of getting in contact with a mortgage advisor! 

This post seems really long and silly considering that's all I wanted to say - that we're perhaps moving out. It really feels like we're doing everything at once right now. Planning a wedding and trying to find a place to live at the same time is really keeping me busy. Phew, atleast I'm nearly done with college.

xoxo

This place is a zoo!

I'm aware I've got some catching up to do (again)! But this time I have an excuse... Kind of. It's been a busy week.
Last weekend I finally got my hair cut, and as you can imagine that took up an entire day (exaggeration). Monday and Tuesday, I have no idea what I was doing. Chilling out with my mum because she had the week off, I guess! Tuesday evening I had college. Wednesday I dragged my sister to Oxford for some much needed retail therapy while our mum watched Lily and my niece. Wednesday evening Phil and I went to the cinema to watch The Hunger Games (awesome film, I recommend it to everyone ever!). Thursday we took a trip to West Midlands Safari Park (more details once I'm done explaining my absence). Thursday evening college again. Then Friday was my birthday, Lily still went to her nanny's house, but I was so busy moaning about aging that I just didn't have time for blogging! Also I took a trip into town with my mum in the morning to do some food shopping, and then in the afternoon I had to pop to the doctors about my eye.
Phew! All in all, I've been a busy lady.

So, Thursday; West Midlands Safari park is a little over an hour drive away from us, but Phil wanted to go as I've never been before and obviously we thought it would be a nice little treat for the flower baby.

On my lap in the car for the safari (I was really unsure about doing this, but Phil assured me that you're allowed to for the safari)

It was a nice day out, Lily did throw a few tantrums, but I think that's only because she only managed a half hour nap for the entire day.

  Feeding some animals

 In the reptile house

 On the train

The weather wasn't too bad, considering it's April. It rained a little bit. Mostly while we were in the cafe having our lunch, so we managed to time it well! It actually got quite hot in the car, as the sun did come out quite a lot.

I've had such a busy week, but I much prefer to be busy than to be bored.

As for next week, well, tomorrow (Sunday) we're going to view a flat, but I think it's a little out of our price range unfortunately. And that's all I have planned! How boring.

xoxo 

Another rainy day

Drip drip drop little April showers.
Yep, April is definitely rainy! This morning we've been busy busy!

Aquadoodle fun

 Washing up after making cupcakes

 The cupcakes

 Yummy!

 So much rain...!

xoxo

Rainy days

The weather couldn't be more frustrating today.
It's raining (on and off), and I need to go to the shop to get a few bits. The sun comes out, I quickly bundle Lily in her coat, about to put mine on, and the rain is back! Ahh! Now Lily is having her lunch and the sun is out again. Very annoying.

So, while we're stuck indoors we're trying to keep busy. Lily has spent most the morning watching TV as she's suffering from a cold (as am I), and I've spent most the morning doing housework and emailing people (for wedding, not for fun!).  But for about an hour Lily decided she wanted music. So we ventured downstairs, turned on my mum's CD player and had a dance.

(Please ignore the mess in the background, it's not my room to clean!)

Now to put a grumpy toddler down for her nap.

xoxo

Easter

Last weekend it was Easter (duh!). For some reason I didn't have much planned for this Easter. Good Friday went by in a blur, I can't even remember if we left the house. Saturday we traveled 2 hours to see my grandparents (Lily's great grandparents).

We then went to an Italian Restaurant. Lily didn't eat much, she was too busy playing with the crayons that they provide for children, not to mention the toys that I took as backups incase she started getting bored.

 We then drove another 2 hours home again. Yeah, it sucks how far we have to go for a day with my grandparents.


Easter Sunday, oooh Easter Sunday. Yeah, I was SO ill all day, I could barely move. However I still managed to catch a few pictures of Lily eating her first (ever) Easter egg. It was just a small one and it came with a cute little Hello Kitty bag. My mum actually bought it, we didn't get Lily anything, because we're just that mean (really, my parents got Lil an egg and Phil's parents got her a couple of chocolate bunnies so we didn't feel the need to get her anything).

Sorry the pictures aren't very good, but I was ill! Leave me alone, bah!

xoxo

Booked!

We've finally booked our registrar and venue for our wedding! It finally feels official and I'm so excited! Not too pleased about all the money we're going to have to spend though. I'm tired just thinking about all the planning. Eek!

Here's our beautiful venue. It has lots of gardens too for pictures. And the reception will be in a marquee just down the path from the house. The family that own the house are absolutely lovely and have been incredibly helpful so far!

xoxo

Today I feel like crying - that's it. I'm wondering where my baby has gone, and I'm regretting not documenting every day of her life so far. I don't know where all these emotions have come from... But they're not fun, really not fun at all.

I put Lily down for a nap at 1PM, she spent the next half an hour moaning "Muuummmmyyyyy, muuuummmmyyyy, muuuuummmmmmyyyyy", it's heart-breaking when she's in a mood like that. Do I go and see her and potentially ruin her nap time? Or do I leave her, and listen to her cry for me, when I'm the only person in the world she wants? After she started shouting "MUMMY! POO POO!" I got a little worried and rushed in. She was stood in her cot holding up her nappy (no poo poo, hurrah!). I put it back on her, gave her a squeeze and a kiss and lay her back down. More moans for Mummy, another visit into her room and 10 minutes later she's asleep. I'm glad I'm tough with her with things like this, but it really does hurt my heart.

xoxo

Playing dress up

I can't believe how much she's growing...

Getting married!

So, I thought I should update my blog. However, this time it isn't baby related...
We've been engaged for just over 2 years now, so we've decided to start actually planning our wedding. We've been to see a few venues and went to look at one today. The one that we've seen today is probably going to be the one! We're looking into cost and how much the deposit is to book the day.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that this blog is now going to be about our beautiful flower baby and also wedding planning!

Just a short update as there isn't much to say right now. Really getting excited and I don't think it seems that official... Hopefully it will when it's booked!

Christmas Shoot

I know, I know, I'm behind on posts again! I was going to do a Christmas day blog post, but for some reason my camera is playing up and I can't upload my pictures onto my laptop. So, you'll just have to settle with a picture of Lily that I used for our Christmas cards this year.

Christmas was great. Lily was a little grumpy because of all the presents though, she gets a little overwhelmed. She didn't actually eat any of Christmas lunch which kind of upset me. I was so excited for her to try brussel sprouts (they're my favourite!) but she wouldn't touch any of the food. Oh well, we've got many more years to attempt to make her eat her veggies.
That's all for now, I've got tonnes to do and am just sat watching Sex and the City instead. Whoops.

xoxo