I am currently suffering with a cold and a sore throat. This has, oddly, made me aware of how much work I'll be doing once I'm back in college. I have been moaning so much about how bored I am at the moment, but I don't think about how it's going to be once I go back into college. The sleep deprivation, being overworked, having no time for Lily. I'm still looking forward to going back and cracking on once again, but I think I need to appreciate this time that I have before then.
Lily is such a good girl. She has been behaving so well today as she knows poor old mum is not feeling too good. For now, it's only housework and paperwork that is being neglected because I'm ill. Soon, I won't have time to be ill. I have got to work so hard for my last year at college, because now I actually have something to work towards and desperately want to go to university and study law. Not just for myself, but to make my daughter proud.
I suppose in my last update I hadn't really given much information about Phil and how that's going... Well. It's not really going. We are still friends (although there are times when I really cannot bare him and lose my temper at nothing), I don't see him much. He comes over about 1-2 evenings a week to see Lily, but I am becoming increasingly frustrated about that fact that he does not interact with her, and seems to spend all of his time on his phone. He rarely takes her for days anymore, and it is always up to me to organise it with him. I am bored with him. And I know that makes me sound terrible, and I probably am. But I am sick of hearing about his social life, and his having all this money to do things like go to festivals or get new tattoos. He should be spending his time and his money on his daughter, like I have been for the past three years. It is not fair that he doesn't share this responsibility with me, but I know I can raise her perfectly well without his help. I have just got to learn to stop being so bitter about it.
xoxo
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